15 things Draco Malfoy can NOT do!
by TheQueen117
Summary: The title says it all
1. The List

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**15 Things Draco Malfoy cannot do**

1 I will not turn Weasley into a weasel despite ferret jokes

2 I will not set Dumbledore's beard on fire no matter how funny it was at the time (admit it, that was funny)

3 I will not kiss Harry in the middle of lunch and then proceed to scream, "I AM SHAGGING THE BOY- WHO-WON'T-FUCKING-DIE!" as it causes Sirius to go back into therapy to avoid murdering me.

4 I am not allowed to cat call any of the female teachers

5 Or male for that matter

6 I am not allowed to force the house elves to switch all water with fire whiskey no matter how funny Professor McGonagall is when she is drunk

7 I am not allowed to make kidnap Harry and have my wicked way with him

8 Even if he enjoys it…

9 I am not allowed to tell Voldemort that his laugh sounds feminine

10 Nor ask him if he has a masculinity issue and if that is why he is trying to take over the world (it would make sense)

11 Strip poker is not a school appropriate sport

12 I am not allowed to gag and bind Black and give him to Professor Snape as a birthday present

13 Even if it is the start to the "cutest relationship Hogwarts has ever seen"

14 I am not allowed to force Hagrid into drag… period.

15 Nor am I allowed to wear drag. Even if I look amazing in a dress

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**Author Note:**

**I wrote scenarios so please read on.  
**

**Love**

**HM**


	2. Number 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**1. I will not turn Weasley into a weasel despite ferret jokes.**

Today was a very boring day, thought Ron as he sat down for lunch, in fact the only interesting thing that happened today was when he had made Malfoy sprout ferret ears. He reminded himself to thank George for the spell during Christmas.

Harry sat down next to him, smirking. Ron couldn't help but laugh to himself. He knew Harry had a thing for ears and if that hickey on his neck didn't prove anything…

"Mate, you might want a scarf," Ron suggested, "Before Sirius notices anything." Harry blushed and looked up at the teacher's table to see Sirius and Snape in deep conversation. They were probably debating something random again like which is more popular the color blue or green like last week.

The two had become very close since Remus had died during the last war. The only reason Sirius hadn't killed himself after the death of his lover was thanks to Snape and that, as far as Harry was concerned, was a debt he could never repay to the ex-potions master.

"He won't notice," said Harry.

'Do you think they'll ever get together?" asked Ron as he watched his Headmaster and Transfiguration teacher chatter away.

"Hello, boys," smiled Hermione, leaning over and kissing Ron before grabbing an apple and biting it, "How are my ultimate to gossipers today?"

"We are not gossipers," pouted Ron.

"Yeah you are," pointed out Hermione.

"At least I have an excuse," smiled Harry

"And what's that?" asked Ron

"I'm gay."

The other two laughed as Harry put on a smug smile.

"So what were you two talking about?" asked Hermione.

"Snape and Sirius," answered Ron

"Oh, do think they'll ever get together?" asked Hermione taking another bite and pulling out her NEWTs potion book

"Not unless someone does something," sighed Harry, "Even if Sirius felt something, he would never make a move…something like betraying the memory of Remus or something."

Hermione sighed, "Yeah and Remus also wants Sirius to wallow in morning for the rest of his life," he rolled his eyes, "Funny that they're so good for each other."

"When I see them I think of me and Draco," said Harry with a sigh.

Ron nodded and took a sip of water from his goblet and turned to Harry agree when he felt a tightening in his throat. He gasped in surprise and wrapped his hands around his throat.

"Ron what's wrong?" cried Harry.

Ron made a gurgling noise and took a few gasps before promptly passing out.

…

Half hour later, found Ron waking up to a white ceiling. Stretching he swished his tail back and forth before craning his long neck to check out for any signs of danger…wait…his tail? Long neck?

Confused Ron tried to get out of bed only to tumble out and onto the hard floor. Scared he looked up only to see that he was only as tall as the bed leg. Confused he started to skitter around, finding it easier to walk on all fours.

"AW!" cooed a voice behind him and Ron turned to see Draco smiling down at him, his ears firmly attached to his white blond hair, "Ron you make such a cute weasel."

Ron growled at him.

"I knew you would make a good weasel, I knew it!"

"And I knew you were behind this, you owe me, Snape," said another voice and the two boys…I mean boy and weasel looked over to see Professor Black and Headmaster Snape standing in the door exchanging money.

"Really, Draco," sighed Snape, "You just had to get caught!" he groaned and handed Sirius the galleons.

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**Author Note:**

**I knew I promised to do this and I am so sorry it took so long, but I finally did it. I don't think it turned out as funny as it could of…but of well…**

**I like it because it adds a lot of background info so yeah…**

**REVIEW**

**Lots of Hugs**

**HM**


	3. Number 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**2. I will not set Dumbledore's beard on fire no matter how funny it was at the time (admit it, that was funny)**

"Fire whiskey all around!" cheered Ron as he passed out the large red bottles to each member of the party.

Harry took one and passed it to his lover, "Remember," he warned Draco, "No more then three glasses. We don't need another stripe tease."

Draco pouted, "Yes, mother."

**Six hours later…**

"AnD... And then he…h (hic) he tried to…hahahahahaahhahahaha," Ron collapsed in a pile of limps at Harry's feet while Harry fell over laughing. To his left lay Hermione, long since passed out after her tenth glass of whatever she had been drinking.

All around the room drunken teens danced and partied; the alcohol still flowed well into midnight. There were empty cups and plates and streamers and clothing spewed all around the room. Girls danced with other girls on top of tables and straight boys kissed straight boys in an alcohol induced frenzy. The party was still going strong.

In the corner, lay Draco. Forgotten by his lover and bored, he decided the best idea was to leave now before the professors decided to check up on all the noise. With a bottle of fire whiskey clutched in his hand, he stumbled out of the commons room, laughing to himself as he tripped over the edge of the portrait and falling head first onto the floor. Unfazed, he scrambled back up and drunkenly swaggered down the hallway, not paying attention to where he was going.

Laughing and hiccupping, cheeks cherry red, and hair a mess of tangled bleach blond locks, no one had ever seen Draco this drunk since the Incident of March 5th where he had kissed the Boy-Who-Lived in a moment of drunken insanity.

Without consciously moving, his feet had taken him to the Gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office.

"Hey, Goyle," giggled Draco as the Gargoyle looked at the young Malfoy heir in distaste. "Can I go sees me Gods-fathers?" Draco slurred.

"Password," it asked, irritated it had been woken up at such an early hour.

Draco frowned, _what was that password again…_ and said, "Snakes…"

"No."

"Santa Clause."

"No."

"Houdini."

"No."

Pixies."

"No."

"Yogurt."

"No."

"Sirius Black in bondage?"

"NO!"

"…Do you like pie?"

"Excuse me?" asked the Gargoyle confused.

"I like all kinds of pies…apple…blueberry…key lime…lemon…lime…raspberry…"

The Gargoyle groaned. All it wanted to do sleep.

"Pecan…pumpkin…chocolate…vanilla…strawberry…banana…"

"If I let you in will you shut up?" asked the Gargoyle

"Chicken Pot…Mince Meat…Shepard…"

"Here!" cried the Gargoyle as it opened the door, "Just shut up."

Draco gave a lopsided smile, "Thankies yous!" he giggled and skipped in.

Entering the office he was surprised to see it empty. It seemed Headmaster Snape had returned to his quarters, which made sense…it was 2 in the morning after all.

"Hey!" he cried as his eyes landed on the snoozing portrait of the previous headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. "Its Dumbledore!"

The portrait woke with a start and it frowned when its eyes landed on the boy, "Draco Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

"Hey!" he cried and through his hands in the air causing the alcohol to splash all around, a bit even catching on the portraits.

"Are you drunk!" he asked in surprise. How could Severus let that happen?

Draco nodded fast, a goofy smile on his face so he looked like a demented bobble head. "Yeeahs!" he spun in a circle, giggling, and fell into the headmasters chair before jumping up, "Its colds!" he cried and only then did his body start to register the chill in the air, "Aren't you cold."

"No…" said Dumbledore, a portrait could not fell the change in temperature.

"You don't evens have a blanket!" Draco cried like it was a horrendous crime and he started to search the desk for matches. "AH HA!" Draco cried lighting one and turning back to Dumbledore who had already started to inch out of his portrait. "Here," said Draco, holding the match up to the portrait as if to warm him. Unfortunately, he held it to close and, thanks to the spilt alcohol that dripped from the frame, the picture went up in flames just as Dumbledore had managed to escape. The only thing having burnt away was his beard.

Draco called out in surprise and fell backwards. The match flew from his hand and landed on the desk, and instantly caught fire as it came into contact with the alcohol. Instead of being scared, Draco found the burny-fire-fire-dancing-thingy quite pretty and warm. He curled up like a cat near a fireplace and quickly fell asleep.

That was how Headmaster Snape found his godson the next morning, sleeping next to the charred remains of his desk and suffering from a major hangover.

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**Author Note:**

**And number two was up! I hope this version was funnier. I thought it was funnier. **

**Oh the minds of drunken fools…how you humor me…**

**Well anyway. HAPPY NEW YEARS! **

**I would like to thank everyone who has stuck with this story so far and I hope you continue to follow it into the New Year. Every review and hit has meant the world to me and has given me the motive to continue. THANKS EVERYBODY!**

**Lots of Hugs**

**HM**


	4. Number 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**3) I will not kiss Harry in the middle of lunch and then proceed to scream, "I AM SHAGGING THE BOY- WHO-WON'T-FUCKING-DIE!" as it causes Sirius to go back into therapy to avoid murdering me.**

"Harry…"

Harry sighed, loudly, and slammed his book shut. He did NOT want to deal with this right now, "No. Draco…my answer is still NO."

"Please, Harry!" he cried, sitting down next to his lover on the coach, "I'm sick of not being able to be your 'boyfriend' in public!"

"And we will tell everyone once I have told Sirius," said Harry, his voice bordering on a growl. He was tired of Draco hyping on the same fact again and again.

"And when is that?' he hissed back, annoyed that Harry kept on delaying the inevitable, "You've been saying you'll tell him for two months now," he snapped.

Harry sighed, massaging his forehead with two fingers, "I will….it just…it has to be the right time. Okay? I can't just spring it on him."

"And it's not like he's homophobic," Draco continued as if he hadn't heard Harry, "The man's a bleeding poof!"

"Draco!" cried Harry, "I am trying! All right! I am trying!"

Draco fell silent, glaring at the fireplace for a minute before turning back to his boyfriend, "You have two days. Tell him, or I'll tell him for you."

**…**

Harry had no idea that two days could pass so quickly. Now Monday morning and he still hadn't told Sirius about Draco, he didn't know what to do.

He thought about catching him before breakfast, but when he went to Sirius's private quarters to see him missing (which meant he was already at breakfast…the last place he wanted to be at the moment) he had given up all hope and figuring what was the worst Draco could do, entered breakfast with a smile.

Which he quickly lost when he saw the smirk his lover was wearing…_shit!_

"Mate…what's wrong?" asked Ron as he starred at his best friend in confusion. It was pancakes this morning and Harry loved pancakes yet he hadn't taken a bit.

"…Draco…" he mumbled.

Frowning, Ron looked over to see him smirking at Harry, "Did you too fight?"

"He gave me two days to tell Sirius about us," he said.

"And you didn't" said Hermione, butting in, "And no he plans to tell everyone about you too, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Come on, mate," laughed Ron, "What's the worst he's gonna do?"

"This," Draco whispered behind them.

Crying out in surprise, the three turned around just in time to see Draco pulling Harry up into a searing kiss…and they weren't the only ones to see. A hush fell over the great hall as the two continued to snog... and snog…and snog…

"Jesus," hissed Lavender Brown to her friend Padma Patel who was watching the two go at it, "Don't these two need to breath?"

And snog…

"Sirius," hissed Severus, "I think I'm going to be sick."

Sirius just nodded dumbly

Finally, Harry pulled away panting and out of breath and fire truck red.

Draco surveyed the shocked students and with a smirk in place he cried out into the silent hall, "I AM SHAGGING THE BOY-WHO-WON'T-FUCKING-DIE, WHOEVER HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT CAN DEAL WITH ME!"

At this point Harry was blushing bright red and cautiously peered over to see Sirius….too see him beat red with rage.

"Sirius…" mumbled Harry

"DRACO MALFOY! I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" he cried, jumping up and vaulting over the tables. "KILL YOU!" he pulled out his wand and fired a hex at Draco as students scrambled out of range.

"Get the Cops!" cried Severus jumping into action as he followed Sirius' example and vaulted over the table to restrain his friend and secret crush.

"I'LL KILL'IM!"

"SIRIUS! STOP IT!" cried Severus wrestling his friend to the ground.

**…**

Fifteen minutes later, Sirius had been restraint by cops, raging and screaming about all the painful ways he was going to slaughter Draco. The students had been calmed down and were being check over. Harry was watching in a daze as Ron and Hermione tried to comfort him while shooting Draco glares.

"And then I'm going to rip off his balls and make him ea…mmmhUnmph!"

Severus sighed and turned to Sirius's old therapist, "Can you help him?"

"MHUMPH!"

"I'll try," he said, fixing his glasses, "Take him away, boys!" he called to the cops who started to lead the bound and gagged screaming Black away.

"MUMOH MUMUMOHPH MUEMPH!"

"Oh shut up!"  
Severus groaned and massaged his forehead. Turnign towards his still smirking godson, he raised an eyebrow, "We need to talk…"

"Your office, seven o'clock?" he asked

Severus nodded.

"Great!" he called before turning back to his boyfriend, "It's a detention."

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**Author Note: I did not do this justice and will probably come back to this later to fix this. I am sorry. Remember to Review!**


	5. Number 4 and 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**…**

**4 and 5) I am not allowed to catcall any of the female teachers or male for that matter**

**…**

"Afraid Malfoy?" Ron teased as he watched his blond friend squirm.

Draco sneered to cover his embarrassment, "Of course not," he snapped

"Then take the dare, love," Harry said looking up from whatever Muggle book he had been reading.

"Or are you too chicken?" Ron added much to everyone, but Draco's amusement.

"I am not," Draco defended as the laughter died down, "And I'll take your silly dare if nothing else, but to shut you up."

Ron's smile only widened, "Brilliant."

Besides him Hermione added, 'And remember, you have to do_ ALL_ the teachers."

Draco groaned, sitting back against the Gryffindor red sofa, why he kept coming to this common room confused him. For every time he did he was cohered into doing something stupid (he was still paying for the beard incident).

**Professor McGonagall – Transfiguration: Period 1**

Minerva McGonagall welcomed her seventh year class this morning like every morning. With a 'welcome' to all her Gryffindors and Slytherins, she took her place by the board, chalk in hand and began to scratch out the direction on the board in long looping letters as was her handwriting when she heard the oddest thing. A long high pitched whistling noise filled the air for a few seconds before it tapered off.

Frowning, she turned from the board to see a few of her students chuckling, but nothing too odd. So instead of asking, she turned back to the board to continue the diagram of the wand movements she had just been writing when it happened again. This time followed by a snort of amusement from more than one student, but she continues to ignore it. It isn't worth it. It's probably some stupid prank and after putting up with the Marauders for seven years there's nothing they could do to surprise her. Then she heard the drawl of one very annoying Draco Malfoy.

"Nice ass, teach," he called

Silence

No one said a word as they all tired to digest what Malfoy had just said, McGonagall especially as she slowly straightened up and turned to the class, her footsteps deafening in the large classroom. Then with the tact tracked by reputation, Ron Weasley snickered.

It was like a time bomb, soon every one of her students were laughing at her expense. Her face was probably redder then it had been for years and she could barley restrain herself to tell them to shut up so instead she shut down and waited them out.

A good fourteen minutes later the class had quieted to the occasional snicker for some juvenile who wanted a detention. Breathing deep, Professor McGonagall turned to Draco, "Detention; tomorrow at 6 pm sharp."

"But that's the quidditch game!" Draco protested

Minerva McGonagall smiled at her own genius, "I know."

**Professor Black– Astrology: Period 2**

"You know," Harry hissed to Ron, "I have to admit this is why I pressured Draco into agreeing to the dare. I have to know how Sirius reacts."

Up ahead, Draco grinned. If it was a show Harry wanted then it was a show he was going to get. Turning to the front of the classroom, he grinned. He wondered how red he could make Sirius get.

Like per usual, Sirius was ten minutes late on the dot. It was in his schedule to arrive late, which made no sense, but you could blame Sirius' biological clock. With a flick of his wand, he shut the blinds around the classroom and proceeded to set off a display of the constellation he would be teaching today. It was a series of Greek constellations: Hercules, Orion with Sirius in the center, etc. The class let out their usual 'oos' and 'ahhs' and the girls fluttered their eyes in admiration. Sirius could never figure out why. After all he was old enough to be their father and it was a bit creepy. But today it was even creepier when he saw Draco Malfoy do the same but that couldn't be right. It must simply be the trick of the light and if it wasn't then Sirius would make due on his attempt to strangle Draco. If the snake even thought about other people other than his godson…well let's just say he better not.

With thought in mind, he continued his class with the same exuberant flourish as always, calling out certain consolations and explaining the differences between Muggle and Wizarding mythology. No incident seemed to pertain after the initial confusion and Sirius found his earlier anger slipping away. Sirius was the first to admit that he was quick to anger, but rarely was he mad enough to hold a grudge. Remus used to say it was his more enduring quality.

Sirius smiled almost sadly when he thought that and looked up at the sky, falling quiet for a second and the class grew uneasy, having a feeling that they knew who he was thinking about. Draco, who had about to interrupt anyway, stopped and looked over his shoulder at Harry and Ron who had equally worried faces, these incidents had grown fainter after time seemed to heal most of the heartbreak after Professor Remus' death, but they did happen rarely.

Finally Sirius snapped out of it and continued on with the class as if nothing had happened, but the skip in his step seemed to have lessened as he continued his speech on the Scorpios that Hercules defeated.

**.**

"Sorry, I couldn't do it, Harry," Draco said later after class.

"It's all right," Harry said, "I think if you had I would have been furious." He trailed off for a second before clearing his throat, "I have a free period next. I think I'm going to go make sure he's all right."

"Yeah...that would be for the best."

**Professor Flitwick – Charms: Period 3**

Let's just say, the short jokes would never get old. _If you know what I mean!_

**Professor Slughorn – Potions: Period 4**

One word: Love Potions...Or was that two?

Whatever.

Either way, Harry hadn't stopped blushing all through lunch and Hermione was pretty sure Ron was going to pass out from lack of oxygen thanks to how much he was laughing.

**Professor Sprout – Herbology: Period 5**

There are so many ways that Devil's Snare can be used...none of them appropriate.

**Professor Binns – History: Period 6**

Draco wasn't sure whether or not to be relived or insulted by the fact that the Professor hadn't reacted at all.

**Professor Snape – Headmaster**

"Five detentions, Mr. Malfoy," headmaster sneered as he surveyed his godson behind his desk, "All for inappropriate behavior in the class room. Would you like to explain yourself?"

Draco shrugged his shoulders, still grinning and looking like he had won a million galleons.

Snape sighed, "Really, Draco," he said dropping the act, "What has gotten into that head of yours?"

"Nothing, sir," Draco smiled

"Nothing, really," Snape sighed, "This isn't another one of those stupid bets is it? Because I swear if we have another flag pole incident I may have to start suspending people."

"Oh nothing like that," Draco said with a wave of his hand, "We know better."

"Ahh…"

"Yup!"

Snape lowered his head into his hands and dimly wondered if Dumbledore had had to put up with things like this, "Very well, you are free to go."

"Thanks, uncle," Draco said getting up and heading to the door. "Oh and professor," Draco smirked, "Looking hot!" he cried before racing out of the room, probably giggling like a child.

Snape sighed and signed down a ninth detention for his godson, all the will wondering how badly the Gryffindor's had corrupted his little snake.

**Author Note: Sorry this took forever. I swear it was supposed to be longer with each teacher having a detailed account but I realized it wasn't coming so I did what I could to hurry it up! But I finished it and you guys had better enjoy it. Remember to Review!**

**Deleted Scene**

"First period, McGonagall," Ron said annoyingly cheerfully, "Aren't you excited, Draci-poo?"

Draco groaned, glaring daggers at the giddy red-head. No one should be this happy about another friend's eminent doom. What did theses Gryffindors think? He was about to get at least eight detentions, one for every teacher, and maybe even from his godfather. Not to mention the emotional scarring of having to hit on someone at least triple his age. Taking a deep breath, he answered back, "Of course, I couldn't wait," he sneered

"Come now, Draco," Harry said as lay a hand on his arm, "It'll be fun."

"You want to do it?" Draco asked

Harry frowned as if actually thinking about it before smiling, "No."

Draco sighed, that was it. This was the last time he was letting Harry hangout with Luna. He always came back to happy and a bit loopy! "Then why should I be glad to do it?" Draco questioned his boyfriend

Harry's grin only widened so he looked a bit demented, "Because it's entertaining me." He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And for him maybe it was and Draco had to relent. If it made Harry laugh then god damn it, he'd such it up so with a deep breath he walked into first period with a heavy weight on his shoulders but determined none the less.

**It didn't fit and made it to long anyway so I deleted it.**


	6. Numbers 9 and 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

…

**9) and 10) I am not allowed to tell Voldemort that his laugh sounds feminine nor ask him if he has a masculinity issue and if that is why he is trying to take over the world (it would make sense)**

When Voldemort died, the Ministry dumped his ashes in a river.

There was much controversy in the beginning. Even though Voldemort had been such a horrible human being, many felt that no Wizard or Witch deserved to be thrown to the waters. It was a horrible thing to do to the deceased.

But many more feared the re-birth of his soul and demanded that he be damned.

To appease both sides (and partially because the current minister, Kingsley, hated Voldemort more than most) the Ministry dumped the body and created a portrait.

The portrait was to be hung in the Ministry for Magic in the southwest corridor near the _Azkaban Regulation Department_.

It was meant to be some kind of warning.

Or at least that is what Draco thought as he stood staring up at the sleeping Dark Lord.

He lifted up one finger and poked it. No one could say he had a lot of impulse control.

The Dark Lord shrieked, jerking awake and turned to glare at the younger Malfoy.

"What are you doing here" the Dark Lord sneered. He had not forgotten how this child had betrayed him.

"School field trip," Draco explained airily. He had gotten separated from his group and somehow wandered into the southwest corridor. He had heard about the creation of the painting, but had never seen it. "Tell me, what is it like knowing that you're probably the ugliest painting ever created?"

He was bored and he was irritated. He had always hated the idea that the painting had existed. It was cruel, a way to memorialize a man the world was better off forgetting.

The Dark Lord's grin widened. He looked like a shark, "Tell me, what is it like knowing you're name means nothing, now? What is it like knowing that you're the reason why?"

It was like a slap in the face, like every insult his father had yelled at him through his prison bars. It hurt.

"What is it like knowing that you failed?" Draco snarled back. "What is it like knowing that you'll be the most infamous wizard ever born, that people spit at the sound of your name?"

Now this was proving to be interesting to the portrait to the Dark Lord who had grown bored of his day to day life with little interaction with anyone. None of the other portraits liked to talk to him so most often or not, he was left alone to sleep or broad the day away in the southwest corridor of the Ministry.

"Tell me, how is your father?" Voldemort giggled, shrill and high pitched, "How does it feel to know you're the reason your own father is rotting away in Azkaban?"

This was not the way Draco has planned this to go. He had intended to say a few insults and walk away, not...this.

"My father," Draco sneered, "Was a disgrace to the Wizarding World and I see no pain in putting him where he belongs. But you want to know why I really woke you up?"

"Oh, and what is that?"

"I want to know what it's like to feel so weak and stupid that you have to compensate by trying to take over the world." Draco grinned, "It's obvious that you have some ego-issues. Tell me what exactly where you trying to compensate for?"

Voldemort throws his head back in a high pitch, crazed laugh. It had been boring for so long and here was a child who was so easy to wound up...

"Ah...it was a masculinity problem wasn't it? You..."

"Draco Malfoy, what in the world do you think you are doing?"

Draco turned around, eyes wide, "Headmaster Snape."

"For Merlin's sake, I've been looking for you everywhere. How in the world did you wander off?" Snape was panting by the time he neared his Godson, "Come along now, you'll be facing detention for this. You can't go wandering off. You have any idea the trouble you caused..."

**A/N: I hope you liked it.**

**I wanted to make light of the situation, but the more I wrote, the more I realized I couldn't. Voldemort is a man that caused a great deal of suffering towards Draco. I can't see Draco being able to playfully banter against the Dark Lord.**


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